La Dal Bhat & Bournvita(1960)

La dal bhat and Burnvita is a 1960 film by the critically trashed director Feddie Fell. The film is about a story of a young boy whose preference over burnvita(A steroid drink) rather than what his mom cooks for him is the basis of the story. This movie was made by Fell after five of his movies were not produced by the makes of “Burnvita”. This movie was a burning example of the shift in his use of subjects from Idli-Sambhar realism to Fart films and again Kanti Shah-esque movies whose movie Gunda is the benchmark of every movie made and is going to be made. Time travel made it possible for the earlier stalwarts to view Gunda which is one of the greatest and single greatest achievement in the world of cinema. Even Churchill would agree. Even with a hump. Maccha Chele is a boy in Bome[a figurative allusion to Rome] during the 50’s whose life revolves around the same cliches on which the life of a boy or girl revolves around in 2010 only in enhanced form. And he is happy with it. The movie tentatively follows Maccha Chele’s days of drinking Burnvita and associated adventures and his parents conflict of turning their son in to a addict or rather help him overcome his addiction and allow him to go out with the lovely college girl around the corner, have a hearty meal themselves, and erase that frown on their face and finally smile. The movie starts with a humble homage to Three idiots where you can see Macha Chele and his friends operating a camera-implanted helicopter and seeing the bikini clad women in the next building. A simple scene. I would like to clarify, youtube would have greatly benefitted if they had operated at that time rather than now. But anomalies in time can’t be changed. And while the hormonized kids enjoy their moments of debauchery the camera focuses on the bottle of Burnvita in his room. The next scene starts in the kitchen room where Maccha Chele and his mom are fighting over his addiction. They fight till they are exchanging profanities.[Note 1- drinking burnvita gives the drinker an unabashed databank of profanities. Offer in special packs only]. Maccha shouts and leaves his room. His father sighs, still watching a football match. As he walks the road, he is eyed by the Next Door Good girl who according to the times of those days wants to settle down by him. Fell says the camera focus on her was long and therefore deliberate. .He goes to a burnvita bar where he sits and drinks till he meets his college crush Rich girl. The drink and do stuffs which are very typical of any movie and spend the night in a room by sea where they pleasure themselves with off course but what else. The random use of Burnvita is justified by the director for he wanted to show how people was dependent on it rather than dal and bhat, the staple diet of any region. Days spend, as Maccha Chele indulges in clandestine romances with as many chicks possible without paying any attention to the good girl next door. And in their college arrives A swedish sub-heroine to study and she catches his attraction. And the eternal twist in the plot arrives[Please refer to the song from Pyaar Aaj Kal- Hein twist, hein twist]. For the sub-heroine already has a boyfriend and a possessive one. At a party Maccha Chele meets the subheroine but before he can make a pass at him, he gets a call from his mother. A priest tells him to listen to his mother and not drink burnvita, for 2012 is not very far. He cusses him and slams the phone down. At this point he meets the sub-heroine who already has had a fight with her boyfriend[please refer to hindi movies to understand the fight between boys and girls]. They talk over a glass of burnvita. Cupid strikes[To learn more about cupid, those old people who are stunted, have wings yet look like babies and move around with bows and arrows in their so called nappies refer to Greek Mythology]. Maccha takes out subheroine.


Maccha chele and subheroine roams around Bome. Finally you can hear a love song and snippets of love. For making the movie more popular in India[please again refer to Bollywood to understand the nuances of love stories] the director inputed something brilliant.



But this two love birds won’t have any moment of peace. For subheroine's boyfriend will plot to bring them down, while the good girl next door, in a white sari will be seen before God to save her “beloved”from the Buri Nazar[Please again refer to old Bollywood movies and please try and understand when and where the particular phrase was used.] Now this two Hansho Ka Jora[refer to Bollywood please] comes back. Maccha Chele low on Burnvita gets assaulted by the boyfriend. He takes the beating and goes back to a burnvita bar to drink again. Sub-heroine cries bitterly. Another song was supposed to be inserted here. But it was deleted. RIP song.
Maccha waiting for her but she doesn’t turn up.

In a completely different scene, an evil one with a laugh like Gabbar Singh[Please refer to Sholay] plans to conquer the world by cutting down the burnvita supply and poison all the La Dal and Bhat. An economical assault, he proclaims it. For inflation’s myriad wand would turn everyone mad. And then he would emerge and rule the world.But we don’t know yet, who this mad man is? Maccha chele in the meanwhile have been persuaded by his mother to go out with the girl next door. The idea of Tata Nano some say comes from his particular frame.

And as they sit in a restaurant, Maccha sees the sub-heroine with his boyfriend. And old memories flood him. Girl next door sees it and understands. And she is jealous. A typical observation by a noted film critic is that jealousy is everywhere and everywhere. And nowhere it is can’t be found. A good point. So again the scene changes. A mundane activity as one will declare. And this time the scene takes us to the makers of Burnvita where they finally show the world the first bottle of burnvita and inside the bottle is the formula. At one side pro-burnvita supporters relish while at the other side anti-burnvita supporters cry and shout. Maccha Chele and sub-heroine are present and after a very horny and corny item song/dance, the lights go out[Please note: As soon as the dance ends the light has to go out. Its very important since a certain amount of aesthetical element is involved in the process]. When the lights are back, a big OMG expression is pasted on the faces of each and everyone. The bottle with the secret is gone. A scuffle ensues while Maccha Chele sees boyfriend and sub-heroine running away. Making 1+1=11, he deduces they know something. He runs after them but they escapes. [Please note: How fast your run, you can never catch the intended person at first go] A crisis of Burnvita ensues and people go for subsitutes. Horrifying results ensues. People go crazy, people go mad. Some turn into zombies[Refer Matheson and Romero]. And Maccha Chele is forced to eat La Dal and Bhat. And after one long gruelling session where he is forced to eat the same stuff by good girl next door’s mom, he revolts. And that rainy night, as he searches hopelessly[mind you, only the hero knows what he searches for, not us the mere mortals] as Bome is flooded. And in this flood he finds sub-heroine who only laughs at anything he asks. Sadly, she has had a bad dose of laughing gas. [Moral- If you don’t get Burnvita please don’t try and use any other substitute, it can be dangerous] And his face contorts in the Sunny paji mode[Please refer to his movies mainly Gadar and Ghatak to understand the use of facial muscle to get that expression. Difficult. Rated 13 by Ex-Box and P.S. I Love You 3] and he promises revenge. “Revenge on thee oh evil one.” And he runs into the night. Meanwhile the evil one is making a batch of fake burnvita in his island factory. And as some of the intelligent ones have sensed the boyfriend is his cohort. The evil one gives a long elaborate speech on how he intends to conquer the world. A good speech. Follow it properly[Recommended for those to intent to do the same thing]. And suddenly Maccha Chele arrives breaking down the glass ceiling. A sudden entry and there is chaos. He is surrounded but as he is possessed by the ethics of revenge he defeats all the people. He faces the boyfriend. He is defeated too but with a bit difficulty. He sees the evil one running away with the bottle again and he follows. The evil one has laid a trap for him but Maccha Chele has overcomes all of it. seeing no alternative the evil one drinks from a bottle and grows into Godzilla. His target is now Bome. And then the world. and then arrives sub-heroine who tells Maccha Chele to make the original burnvita from the formula and turn into a live-size gorilla[inspired from King Kong]. And he is transformed. Giving out a wild cry he goes to save his beloved Bome where the evil one Godzilla is terrorizing the city. And the two meet for one final stand-off.


And they fight. A very peculiar fight as they catch each others hand and shake each other and punch and kick and drop and fall and other varieties. And finally Godzilla is defeated. One kick and he is send to the space. Gorilla is turned back into Maccha Chele again as he is hugged by the terrified sub-heroine. The movie ends as a new dawn rises. Epilogue- People rejoice. Sell of burnvita increases. You can see Maccha Chele enjoying burnvita with sub-heroine. Good girl next door is not happy yet she tries to be happy and wait for her prince charming. Maccha Chele’s parents finally get over that sad frowning and smile. The movie ends on a happy note as all movies should end. If you really want to critically appraise this movie then you have to think over the illogical sequences of idli sambhar realism to utter espressonism to the consequences of fart movies. Maybe later I will write more on them but rather I would present the critical remarks of some renowned critics than my own to make you understand the cult status achieved by the movie. According to Biyer Polao Rosogulla the movie solely belongs to Feddie rather than anyone else because he feels only Feddie can make his amount of crap and convince other to join him in his gargantuan crap-epic. “He is a poopoo champ.” Other critics such as Eggplant Robber begs to differ and calls him one of the main director who portrays the rea people through his nuanced take on sarialism. As a whole the movie is highly enjoyable. You can enjoy the movie with a cup of burnvita and please try and download it from rabbitshare or megamachaupload. Three cheers to Burnvita.

PS- To enlarge the photos click on them.